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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27473986">With you, my love</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/firebender027/pseuds/firebender027'>firebender027</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bullied Oikawa Tooru, Child Abuse, Childhood Friends, M/M, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-11-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 19:21:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,515</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27473986</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/firebender027/pseuds/firebender027</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>when oikawa's facade of a perfect boy starts to fade, his boyfriend realized and tries to help before he loses him</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>With you, my love</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Oikawa is the boy everyone thought is perfect, with the perfect reputation, perfect grades, perfect relationship, and perfect looks. He is team captain of the volleyball team and he came from a good family. What Oikawa didn't let anyone see, is that he was broken inside. His team makes fun of him, and his boyfriend, Hajime Iwaizumi, likes to join in. His parents, who treat him as his teammates do, aren't proud of him no matter what he does. Everyday, he wakes up, gets ready, plasters on a fake smile and goes to deal with his struggles. He does his best to keep his fake face up but it's difficult considering his pain.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>He walks to school and waves at people who ignore him, thinking that he is petty and fake. He walks down the halls, trying to avoid his teammates so he doesnt get taunted. Watari spots Oikawa and walks to him “What's up flat bitch” he says as Oikawa sighs softly then smiles at him “Hello, Watari-kun! And that's not so nice!” he nudges him gently, walking a bit faster to class. “You tryna run away from us, door?” Hanamaki yells as he joins Watari. Oikawa waves at him “No no no, I just don't wanna be late” he says with his best grin. He gets to the door then sees Iwaizumi leaning against the wall, a bit away from the door. “Iwa-chan!” he yells and runs to hug him. Iwaizumi looks up and dodges the hug “Leave me alone, you are so annoying, like damn.” he says with immense venom in his voice. Oikawa stops and frowns a bit “That's not very nice iwa-chan” he says gently. “ do I look like I care?” He asks and Oikawa shakes his head no. He sighs and walks into his class.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/><strong>TW:Self harm and degrading thoughts. (This will be mentioned from now on in the story)</strong></p><p>During class, he goes on his phone, trying to find ways to numb the mental pain. He finds self harm and decides to try it. He looks through the options and finds cutting and decides to cut himself. He asks to go to the bathroom, taking his scissors with him. He wanders to the bathroom then locks himself in a stall. He rolls up his sleeve and starts up. He leaves red line marks on his wrist, one for each member of his team. `Worthless. Idiot. Annoying. Bitch. Slut.’ Those words flash though his mind as he remembers what his “friends” told him. Once he finishes, he cleans up the little blood that fell and pulls his sleeve down. He puts the scissors in his pockets and walks back to class, acting as if nothing happened.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>After class, he has practice. He walks to the gym and goes to the locker room to change. “Oh look, the sucky captain is here” Matsukawa said as he walked in. Oikawa sighs and goes to the corner. He starts to change, hiding his arms as he did. Iwaizumi looks at him to go insult him and notices the cuts, his eyes going wide and dropping his things. The team looks at him, trying to understand what happened. Oikawa puts a sweater over his volleyball uniform and looks at Iwaizumi “Iwa-chan? Are you okay?” he asks him, waving his arms in his face. Iwaizumi snaps out of the daze and looks away, thinking he might have imagined it “I'm fine. Let's get to the damn gym” The team finishes changing and heads to the gym. Oikawa stays behind, making sure his arms are covered, thinking that Iwaizumi saw.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>Trigger warning: mentions of self harm, bullying and abuse<br/>A few weeks had passed and the cutting only got worse, along with the bullying and abuse but Iwaizumi stopped joining in. He had been skipping class and volleyball practice, making his skills and grades drop drastically. Iwaizumi got worried and sent him a message [{iwa-chan&lt;3} hey. Are you okay? Where are you?] Oikawa is on the roof, sitting down on the bench near the edge. He looks at his phone and smiles a bit. He responds [{flattykawa-_-} oh~? Is iwa-chan worried? Well don't be! I'm on the rooftop. I'll be at the gym soon! See you there iwa-chan.] Iwaizumi sighs in relief and goes to change. Oikawa walks off the roof and heads to the gym. He goes to the locker room and changes, covering his arms with bandages. He walks to the court and everyone looks at oikawa and the bandages on his wrists “hey shittykawa, someone beat you up?” yahaba comments and laughs. Oikawa laughs with him weakly and tries to fake a smile “S-Something like that” he says with a small chuckle as they start practice.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>T<strong>rigger warning: Arguing, Mentions of self harm, abuse and bullying</strong></p><p>After practice, Iwaizumi pulls Oikawa into the clubroom and glares at him “Take the bandages off” Iwaizumi says and Oikawa starts shaking their head. “No no no i-i can’t do that” he says as iwaizumi starts ripping the bandages off him. He sees the cuts and tears up. Oikawa pulls his arms away and hides them. “Why the fuck would you do that?!?!” Iwaizumi yells at him. Oikawa doesn’t want to talk to him and starts sobbing. “Cmon, tell me!” Iwaizumi continues his yelling as Oikawa snaps “shut up shUT UP SHUT UP” he yells, the words getting louder as he does, then looks at him “ This is the team’s fault! Including you! All you guys do is bully me and make fun of me! You don't know how much that shit hurts!! My parents are the same! Do you really want to know why I cut?! Because I can't take the pain anymore!! It hurts in my head and this is the only way I can help it! Now fuck off and leave me alone!” He screams and runs out of the room passing the team, who heard everything, and heading to the roof.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>A couple hours passed and no one had heard from oikawa. Iwaizumi runs to the roof as a last hope, relieved when he finds oikawa there, sitting and staring at the sky, which is fading to night. He goes and sits next to him. “Hey Oikawa. I'm sorry, and so is the team. They didnt mean for you to take it like that” he said then paused, looking at oikawa to show him that he really was sorry “this makes no excuse for us to act this way but we really are sorry. Please don't cut anymore. We do care about you” he explains as Oikawa lays his head in his lap “Its okay, just don't do it ever again. But answer me this, why would you join in. I understand them, cause they have always been like this, but you are my boyfriend, so why would you join in?” he asked as iwaizumi started playing with oikawa’s hair “i…. I don't know. But i'm sorry” he said with a frown. Oikawa sighs “okay, just dont ever do it again” he said while looking up at him. Iwaizumi looks down at him and says “Let's get off the roof and go to my home. We can cuddle and watch movies.” oikawa nods and starts to get up and go to the exit. Iwaizumi also gets up and follows oikawa off the building.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>The two arrive at Iwaizumi’s house. They greet Iwaizumi’s parents, who are kind and understanding, as Iwa explains what happened. The boys go to Iwa’s room to cuddle, holding hands and staying close. Oikawa goes and flops on the bed. Iwaizumi gets bandages and wound cleaners and heads to Oikawa. “Tooru, love, show me your wrists please” iwa said gently as oikawa pulls his sleeves up and takes the bandages off wrists. Iwaizumi frowns at the sight and starts to clean the cuts. Once he finishes, he bandages the cuts and kisses the bandages. Oikawa smiles a bit as he puts on a Disney movie to play while Iwaizumi gets up and lays next to him, cuddling close to him. “Tooru?” iwa spoke gently. oikawa looked up at him “yes, iwa-chan?” iwa sighed gently “I really am sorry. I didn't want you to take it so seriously” Iwaizumi teared up and Oikawa smiled gently “Iwa-chan, it's okay, I forgive you” he said as he kisses the tears away “Lets sleep” he says as he closes his eyes, falling asleep. Iwa-chan soon joins him in sleep<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>A few weeks pass and Oikawa starts getting better, still having problems at home but overcoming them with the help of iwaizumi. His parents have been slowly getting better, noticing that their son is really trying. The team tries their best to make fun of him less, which helps out a lot. Oikawa is starting to get back to being the happy, charming boy he is. He’s working on his classes more to get his grades up while he practices more at volleyball. It seems as if things are getting better in his head, which they are, but not completely. The voice is still there . The voice in the back of his head telling him that it was all fake, that they are all acting. He tries his best to ignore the voice but it gets too strong. He tries to find ways to cope with it, but after a while, the coping mechanisms fade off and don’t work anymore. He doesn't like to talk about it, since it makes him feel like an attention seeker. So he keeps it inside. Big mistake.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>Iwaizumi knew that oikawa was suffering and did his best to help. He was walking with his mom and saw oikawa standing in the middle of the street. He ran towards him without a second thought “OIKAWA, GET OUT OF THE STREET!!” He yelled as he noticed a truck going at him at full speed. He realized he did this on purpose. He ran faster to try and stop him but it was too late. Oikawa got run over by the truck. He wakes up and screams “OIKAWA!!” Oikawa wakes up and looks at him “iwa-chan? Are you okay?” Iwaizumi hears and looks down at him. It was just a dream. Oikawa is okay, alive, and next to him. Iwaizumi is in tears and goes to hug him tightly “P-please don't e-ever leave me, o-or die on me. Please.” Oikawa smiles at him and kisses his head then his cheek “I promise I won’t leave or die” he says while pulling him to lay down to go back to sleep. ‘How did he know what was in my head?’ oikawa asks himself before falling asleep after iwaizumi<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>It's getting towards the end of the year, meaning they are close to graduating. Oikawa starts on medication for the voice. The medication does help, which helps him focus on school, getting his straight a’s and it gives him more energy for volleyball. His parents start seeing that their son is trying hard and start being proud. People start to be nice to him, but he still gets hate from other people. He hates wearing short-sleeves because of the scars. He always gets bad looks from his peers and people make fun of him for being depressed. He gets bullied for being gay, depressed or anything that someone else doesnt like. He doesn't show the bruises he gets from the people to anyone. If anyone sees, he blames it on falling.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>It is the last day of school and oikawa is covered in bruises. Iwaizumi found out and beat the shit out of the people. He says to them that they better keep their hands off of him or else, and they listen. Iwaizumi walks up behind oikawa and hugs him tightly. He kisses the back of his neck “Hey oikawa, i took care of the assholes bullying you. Next time please tell me so i don't have to find out myself” he whispers gently. “Now, let's get ready for graduation” he smiles and drags him to go get ready. They put on their best suits, since they don't have caps or gowns.. Both of them walk to the gym and take their seats in alphabetical order.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>After they sing the national anthem, the principal starts calling the students up to get their certificate. “Hajime Iwaizumi, vice captain of the volleyball team and honor roll student.” Iwaizumi stands up as he hears his name being called. He walks through the stage, collecting his diploma and shaking hands with everyone. He looks out into the crowd to see Oikawa cheering “Wooo Iwa-chan!” he says with a huge smile. Iwaizumi smiles and gets off stage. After other people get called it gets to Oikawa.“ Tooru Oikawa, captain of the volleyball team and straight A student.” The principal calls, then Oikawa gets up and walks to the stage. He gets his diploma and shakes hands with everyone. He looks into the crowd and sees Iwaizumi genuinely smiling and cheering gently “Woo Oikawa.” Oikawa smiles widely for the first time in a while and walks down. He walks past iwa-chan and hugs him tightly before going to his seat. After everyone gets their diploma, they introduce messages from the guests and send messages from the students. After the messages, music starts playing and they sing the school song, knowing this is the last time they'll sing it. Iwaizumi and Oikawa go towards each other after they finish and exit the place and hug tightly. “We finally graduated” Iwa-chan says as Oikawa kisses him “Im so happy!!” They meet up with the team and they all talk. They all head to a store and get some meat buns, heading to the park and sitting down. They talked and talked some more about all of the years they spent there, all the memories in the school and everything else. They all said they were gonna miss each other as they walked hand in hand with their partner onto their new life.<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>Couple of years later<br/>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~<br/>Oikawa and Iwaizumi continued their career. Oikawa became a professional volleyball player and Iwaizumi became the coach of the team. They won nationals at least twice and were happy. Oikawa was managing his depression and was finally able to wear short-sleeves. He was reunited with some old friends and was living a great life. Of course, he still got hate but with Iwaizumi by his side, the hate didn't faze him. He was truly happy. He was sitting with Iwaizumi on the couch, cuddling and watching movies. He looked around and thought “What would've happened if i did jump?” he asked himself. Iwaizumi could tell something was off so he went to kiss oikawa and told him “Hey, focus on me and the movie” trying to get his mind off of whatever he was thinking. Oikawa smiled “Okay Iwa-chan!” he said while cuddling into him, “I love you” they both said at the same time. They looked at each other and laughed “I love you too” Iwaizumi said after they stopped laughing.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>, if you are dealing with depression, you don't have to go through this alone. I'm here for you and I'm sure you have people that care about you. I'm legit tired cause this took me at least a week to finish because of procrastination. I'm in class and finishing this shit. Just great. Tell me if yall want me to do different ships or a continuation. Idek anymore. I'll probably be posting other stuff cause writing this was kinda fun. Hydrate or diedrate. Have a fuckin nice day.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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